When you’re thinking about divorcing—or stuck in that uncomfortable “maybe” limbo—you’re likely focused on one relationship: the one with your spouse. That’s the one falling apart. That’s the one keeping you up at night.
But what many moms don’t expect is that divorce can ripple outward in ways you never saw coming.
Suddenly, you’re not just grieving a marriage.
You’re watching friendships shift.
You’re navigating awkward silences with people you used to feel close to.
You’re realizing some relationships were more conditional than you thought.
And that? That can feel like a whole other kind of loss.
The Hidden Grief No One Warns You About
One day, you’re casually texting with your sister-in-law or chatting with your ex’s best friend at a barbecue. The next? It’s radio silence.
- The friends you hung out with as a couple stop inviting you to parties.
- Your in-laws go cold—even if you once had a close relationship.
- People you thought were “your people” now feel off-limits… or worse, like they’re waiting to see whose side to take.
It’s jarring. Disorienting. Sometimes it even feels humiliating.
When I went through my divorce, I remember sitting in my house on a sunny day feeling like I had a dark cloud hanging directly over me—like my entire neighborhood was living normally while I was stuck under emotional weather.
Sometimes We Preemptively Cutting People Out
Here’s something I realized later: some of that outsider feeling? I created it.
I didn’t reach out to my in-laws—not because they told me not to, but because I was hurting. I assumed they were judging me. And in my pain, I couldn’t separate them from him.
They didn’t cause the damage—but they reminded me of it.
So I shut them out. Not out of spite, but as a way to protect myself.
Looking back, I see that I may have been holding them responsible for feelings I couldn’t yet process about my ex.
The truth? They might’ve been waiting for me to break the silence.
And my ex’s friends—some of them reached out, unprompted, just to say:
“We still care about you. You’re like family, and we don’t turn our backs on family.”
That kind of unexpected kindness stays with you.
Sometimes, we assume people are choosing sides—when really, they’re just waiting to be invited to stay.
Yes, Relationships Shift—But That Doesn’t Mean They’re Gone Forever
Divorce can feel like many small divorces all at once.
Some relationships will fade. Others will surprise you.
Some might come back later in new, healthier forms.
You’re not failing because your social circle changes.
You’re evolving. And as you turn the page on this next chapter, it’s worth asking:
Who do I want in this story with me—and in what role?
Some Relationships Are Meant for a Chapter—Not the Whole Book
Think of a childhood best friend you adored but only catch up with once a year now.
Or a college roommate you still care about but haven’t talked to in years.
You didn’t stop loving them. Life just… changed.
We accept those changes in other seasons of life.
You can give yourself permission to accept them in this one, too.
So Ask Yourself:
- Am I clinging to a friendship out of guilt or habit?
- Can I tolerate the “awkward phase” long enough to get to a new, real dynamic?
- Is it okay to step back from people—even if I still care?
- Do I need to let go of some relationships to make space for new ones?
You don’t have to answer it all now. Let the dust settle. Let people show you who they are.
And if some drift away—or you decide to let go—consider this:
Maybe it’s not rejection.
And maybe… that’s for the best.
