If you’re a mom, especially one who’s juggling all the pieces during or after a divorce, you’ve probably heard that taking care of yourself is important. And maybe—just maybe—you rolled your eyes and thought, “Yeah, okay, but with what time?”
I get it. When you’re the emotional anchor, the planner, the cook, the homework checker, the ride-giver, the bedtime-story-reader, the everything-er… it feels selfish to put your needs anywhere near the top of the list.
But here’s the truth: Making yourself a priority doesn’t take away from your kids. It adds to what you’re able to give them. And I’ll go one step further—it makes you a better mom.
Let’s talk about why that’s not just feel-good fluff. It’s fact.
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
I know, I know. You’ve heard it a million times. But it’s still true. If you’re constantly running on fumes, your patience thins, your energy tanks, and the little things (like spilled cereal or missing socks) start feeling like personal attacks.
When you take time to recharge—even in small ways—you’re calmer, more present, and more emotionally available. And that presence? That’s what your kids actually need most.
Ask Yourself:
- When’s the last time I did something just because it made me feel good?
- Am I modeling what self-worth and self-care look like for my kids?
You Teach Your Kids How to Treat Themselves (and Others)
Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. If they see you constantly self-sacrificing and burning out, they may grow up thinking that’s what love looks like. But if they see you setting healthy boundaries, resting when you’re tired, saying no to things that don’t align—you teach them that their needs matter, too.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s educational.
You Reconnect With Who You Are (And That Changes Everything)
Whether you’re in the thick of single parenting, navigating divorce, or just quietly wondering if your marriage is still the right fit—making yourself a priority helps you reconnect with you. Not the mom version, not the spouse version, not the “holding-it-all-together” version. Just you.
And here’s the magic in that:
When you start paying attention to your own needs, values, desires, and voice… things start to shift. You get clearer. Stronger. More grounded. Sometimes, that clarity helps you show up differently in your marriage—more honest, more empowered—and it inspires your partner to grow, too. Reconnection can lead to reconnection.
Other times, it shines a light on truths you’ve been afraid to face. And that’s powerful too—because clarity is always better than confusion.
Regardless of where you are in the process, reclaiming yourself is the foundation for building a life that actually feels good—not just for your kids, but for you.
Your Mental Health Deserves Maintenance—Not Meltdowns
If you only address your needs once you hit a breaking point, it’s not care—it’s crisis control. Preventative self-prioritization looks like therapy, movement, meditation, friendship, laughter, or even ten sacred minutes in your car before walking into the house.
You’re not a machine. You’re a human. A beautifully complicated, deeply feeling, chronically underestimated woman who deserves more than survival mode.
Prioritizing Yourself Doesn’t Always Mean Grand Gestures
This isn’t about spa days (though, yes please if you can swing it). It’s about taking your needs seriously and giving yourself permission to matter—daily.
- It’s asking for help.
- It’s eating lunch before 3pm.
- It’s saying “no” without an apology.
- It’s pausing before you react.
- It’s going to bed without folding the laundry.
These little acts of rebellion against the myth of the selfless mom? They change everything.
In Case You Needed Permission:
- You’re allowed to matter.
- Your needs are valid.
- Your joy is not optional.
- And your kids will thank you—not for doing it all—but for showing them how to live well, even when life is messy.
So say it with me:
Making myself a priority makes me a better mom.
And then go do one small thing today that proves it.
