Let’s start with the truth no one really wants to hear:
Just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s right. And just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
When you’re navigating divorce—or even just thinking about it—it can feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a soft place. And sometimes, that soft place is actually a trap. The easy path often looks like relief: Letting someone else decide. Following the crowd. Avoiding conflict. Numbing out. Delaying the hard questions.
But here’s the thing: you can’t outsource your life.
And in divorce, every choice you don’t make… gets made for you.
Easy Isn’t Always Easy Later
Letting your spouse call the shots to “keep the peace”? That peace comes at a price—and it’s usually paid in regret.
Making assumptions—about what you’re entitled to, how custody works, how long this will take—without doing any real research or asking a pro? Yep, that’s easy too. But assumptions are a terrible foundation to build your future on.
Letting your lawyer “handle it” because you’re too overwhelmed to deal? That might feel easy now—but it could cost you financially, emotionally, and legally later.
And staying in an unhappy, loveless marriage because you believe it’s what’s best for your kids?
That might feel like the most selfless choice. You love them. You want stability. You’re trying to protect them from pain.
But here’s the quiet truth many moms don’t talk about:
Kids are deeply impacted by the emotional climate they grow up in.
They may not see every argument or feel every silence—but they absorb the tension, the disconnection, the sadness.
And over time, they start to learn what relationships look like by watching yours.
You’re not wrong for wanting to shield them.
But ask yourself this: At what cost to you?
When you silence your own needs, your own truth, your own wellbeing for years on end—
That’s not just emotional survival.
It can slowly become a betrayal of self.
And that kind of betrayal?
It often leads to consequences—emotionally, financially, relationally—that make “easy now” a lot harder later.
So What’s the Right Thing?
The right thing often starts with the uncomfortable thing:
- Asking questions even when you’re afraid of the answers.
- Looking at your finances with clear eyes, not wishful thinking.
- Pausing to reflect instead of rushing to react.
- Getting curious instead of staying stuck.
- Advocating for yourself—even when your voice shakes.
Sometimes, yes, the right thing is the easy thing. But if you’re not even willing to ask the question—“Am I doing what’s right for me, or just what’s easy right now?”—then chances are, you’re leaning toward the path of least resistance… not the path of most alignment.
Real-Life Examples of Choosing the “Right” Thing (Even When It’s Hard)
The “right” thing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s about alignment—not perfection. Here’s what it might look like in practice:
- Saying not yet to a proposed agreement—not out of stubbornness or fear, but because you’ve taken the time to understand what you’re agreeing to and whether it truly serves your long-term wellbeing and your kids’ best interests.
- Advocating for fair support or parenting time—not to “win” or “punish” your ex, but because you’ve done your homework, clarified your needs, and are committed to building a stable, secure future.
- Holding your boundaries when your ex tries to charm, guilt-trip, or bully you into decisions that serve them, not your kids.
- Taking the time to meet with a financial advisor, therapist, or divorce coach—even when your to-do list feels overwhelming.
- Choosing to leave a marriage that looks “fine” on the outside but feels like quiet despair inside your body.
Doing the right thing often requires discomfort, clarity, and courage. But each time you choose what aligns with your long-term wellbeing over short-term ease? You’re not just surviving this season—you’re shaping your future.
A Gentle Gut-Check for Moms in the Thick of It
Ask yourself:
- Am I making this decision because it genuinely feels right—or because I just don’t want to deal with the alternative?
- Am I afraid of being seen as “difficult,” “selfish,” or “dramatic” if I speak up?
- Am I avoiding discomfort… or avoiding growth?
- If my child were in my shoes 20 years from now, what would I want them to choose?
Here’s What You’re Not Doing:
- You’re not rushing into divorce.
- You’re not making things harder just for the sake of it.
- You’re not trying to punish anyone.
- You’re just waking up. You’re realizing that autopilot doesn’t fly you where you want to go.
Final Word
You deserve to know what you’re choosing—and why. Whether you stay, go, mediate, negotiate, or pause to breathe, the point is to choose consciously.
Easy might look tempting.
But empowered feels better.
Ready for More Clarity?
If you’re in that foggy, “I-don’t-know-what’s-right” place right now, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out today. But there are a few mistakes you can avoid that make this whole process a lot harder than it needs to be.
Grab my free guide: Five Costly Divorce Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them). It’s a quick read that could save you time, money, and a whole lot of regret.
